Writing Your Own Vows

Most Brides and Grooms prefer not to write their own vows. They opt to use one of the 27 choices I offer in my ‘Ceremony Builder’. Sometimes because they’d be too nervous or maybe they just don’t think they can convey their love well enough in their own words. But some couples do want to tell their partner how they feel in the moment before saying “I do.”

 What do most couples say? Should it be long or short? What if you don’t say as much as your partner? Perhaps asking your partner how long theirs is will help you feel more comfortable about writing yours. Let me tell you, I have heard many self-written vows and every time they are beautiful. Some people talk about how they met or reminisce about a special moment like the first time they said ‘I love you’. They always tell their partner what they admire about them, how much they love them and that they will be a true and faithful partner.

You don’t have to memorize them, it’s too nerve wracking to try to remember them. Write them on a piece of paper, not on your phone, and keep them in your pocket or with your one of your wedding party.

Once you have them written and are standing at the altar in front of your loved ones here are two pieces of advice:

1.   Have 2 tissues in your pocket, bodice or have the person standing up with you hold them to hand to you in case you cry. And if your partner forgot theirs, hand them one of yours.

2.   If you choke up with emotion while speaking, swallow. It’s impossible to cry and swallow at the same time so just keep swallowing until you can say all your vows. Don’t feel self-conscious, everyone will love it that you are overcome with love for your partner.

Whether you write your own vows, repeat what you chose from a script or just say “I do” after the Officiant, it will be a special moment that you and your partner will remember for the rest of your lives, and it will be perfect.